A long journey all the way until here and now. (fifth part)

It was in third grade when it began the pattern that would mark me into all my traveling, the need for adventure, the need of loneliness, the necessity  of not belonging  and the need to be assessed by my courage.
And even now that my best feature is actually my great heart, my innocence and my ability to forgive and respect the freedom of the people I know;  My courage has surprised many people and has been  the door to many passages in my life.
when I started a few camps organized by a Jewish institution in which 50 boys and girls form the same age as me shared twenty days in a remote part of the country. they all knew each other and  I didn’t  known them, and I was the most timid girl in the world, but i decided to go along  and went and i did it for three years in a row.
There I met my sensitivity, my ability to go really deep into myself and share my feelings, I discovered my love for the groups, for nature, for fires, mountains, lakes and freedom.
We slept under the stars, we discovered water under the stones, we carried cans of food and heavy  pans on our  back packs , we cook for many and I like it, in fact i loved it,  I’ve learned to make fire and to survive with little.
Those trips taught me communication, The importance of relationships, the importance of who we are, the differences in personalities and how wonderful nature is.
The felling of been terribly smaller than nature  swimming in the middle of a frozen lake surrounded by towering mountains ,right there  in the end of the world.
And I also learned to appreciate the daily comforts of a warm bed and delicious food, family and home.
Each time a life cycle ends in my life , a gap is formed and i takes me  years to fill up again. In order to change costumes between then and now i have to rip my skins of and re-grow them, it hurts but it’s worth adjusting to a new personality to a new routine, new people is what it costs me more in life, but it seems that is what i try to reach again and again and even though i still young i have changed my costumes hundreds and hundreds of times some of them i dont even remember. And at the age of eighteen i finish high school without knowing what to do in my life,  so i made a backpacking trip with two friends to Patagonia to give that cycle a beautiful end and return one last time to cross the mountains, the lakes, the nature, the fire and the camping one of the many loves in my life.
Mom spent her whole life searching for a spiritual path, at home there were tons of books of any religion, it was her who taught me to meditate when i was nine years old, imagine a light that surrounds your body and follow it with your mind she told me, she was the one who try to cure my skin allergies with all kinds of alternative medicine, prayer and witchcraft. she told me about her Chinese doctor, the Dalai Lama about Buddha,about the strength of the spirit, magic, the power of meditation, God, the importance of food and what we eat. I remember when there was buckets of brown rice in the refrigerator, and that we ate for weeks, now that I remember laughing, because I hated it bak then, is one of my favorite meals, imagine why.
And so one day in her quest, mom came into this hiding place, in an unknown street in a remote area in the middle of a giant city, called La Casita, ( the small hause) but rather than small it was great in space, in love, in energy, relationship, in wisdom, spirit and love of life.
Mom started to admire  the teacher and creator of the space, Roberto, very quickly, and his charisma, his energy, his teachings, his knowledge of human psychology where amazing.
I didn’t wanna go first even though my mom invited me to go many , many times, my path from there it would be trough dark, pain, confusion and much more all the way long to the  knowledge of myself and into the unknown, a path that continues until to day.
 I was just eighteen years and I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world by being able to share that time ,those years, that path by the hand of my master, my father, my friend, my guide, my ally, my light, my shortcut to God, who knows me more than my own self, my dear Robert.
Today the distance spread us away from each other but  finds us through the speed of an e-mail once a month, in which Robert, reminds  me again and again on how important I am, that I’m never alone, that my way is hard and very lonely, but worth it. He teaches that the risk is good, that the body is sacred, that relationships have to be honest, open and deep, that following the crowd take as away from our truth, that we are alone in this world but we have each other, that the enemy is not fear but the fear of fear, he recommends to meditate every day , it is the best thing that we can give to ourselves, and especially to maintain a relationship with him is the best a man can do, because he  is closer to something bigger ,  his wisdom is immense, his energy explodes my tears.
I thank Roberto for all that he has given me, taught me, shown me and driven to do, there is no way to measure it. Thanks him to give my life a meaning, and give me a relationship with God, nobody has mark my life as much as Roberto did and still do.
One of my desires on life is that anybody in this world could have had someone like Roberto in their life since there where young like I did, I feel privileged. He showed me the way, he gave unconditional love to me and all my path companions.

About mariajose160

I am a jeweler designer wishing to share and learn from others about creativity, inspiration, tips, craft, and much more. I am from Argentina, im living In Alabama and i like to share my life stories and my travels. Im also a chef, i love food i love to talk about food, I love to eat and especially i love the rush in the kitchen during night service. I love to work with my team, there are my friends. Creating things is my life, I make jewelry, I paint, I draw, I cook and I like to live a good life full of love, spirituality and creativity. View all posts by mariajose160

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